The Misundestood Gambler

Colin Baker. 2021.

The more i look back with age, my life has been like scenes from a stage play, full of different acts of personal emotional and educating experiences. With a gambling thread running throughout, controlled by the daily challenges of work, with added responsibility of raising a family; which did not end when my children reached the age of eighteen. Each act as an experience, left a small memory that stayed with me all of my life. And I have been blessed and lucky to be able to remember them to this day,while knowing every memory, locked into my brain, also had a bi-product of having to carry a cross which is hard to bare.

My first memory of gambling goes right back to when I was seven or eight. My mum taught me how to play seven card rummy, or as she called it threes and fours. And we would play for farthings and ha’pennies, then slowly getting up to pennies and thru’penny bits, (which was a brass coin )worth three pence, yes the big time!!.Nearer to Christmas we had bigger games. I also earned good money Carol singing all over Aldershot, and if you didn’t know is the home of the British Army. And I also remember my favourite area, called Christmas Avenue, it was a little goldmine along with Roberts Road where a male teacher of my junior school lived, whom I accidentally saw, lets just say kissing and cuddling a fellow female teacher, who was the only female teacher at the school at the time, in his classroom, while I was doing milk monitoring before school started in the morning. One could say he was a good earner when I sung at his home door.

And I use to go to a wood company and buy a sack of six by six inch wood cut offs for two shillings a go, then cut them up with a chopper into inch pieces trying not to lose a finger or two, in the process of cutting the last two pieces, it became an art,then tie them into six inch diameter bundles with string,and sold them for thrupence a bundle to people mainly locals and neighbours so they could use them to start an open fire. And if I was not long distance running at weekends, I would go get coal and coke from the huge coal gas works that straddled the Ash Road not far from me, for my neighbour’s etc.I was not short of a few bob(money) back then,pocket money never existed one had to earn it. One of the lessons i learned about gambling at a very young age; was from my mother, who taught me to be a good loser, and that has followed me throughout my sporting days, which i will touch on later.

The mystery was, why did my mum teach me and not and not my other five siblings, was it because i took after my father whom i did not really know. I was about the age of twelve, that i found out who my father was, something that was very painful at the time. It was then as a safety valve, i started to say that when i was born he took one look at me them emigrated to Canada, which was not far from the truth. I hope to say more about this in future writings. My kid sister Joy, did enjoy a day at the races with her husband Bob, the brother in law i grew up with and we went to school together, but Joy hardly ever bet more than two pounds a race. And once i took my brother Graham to the bookies shop that was just opposite the Manor Park called Nip Eustace, when he returned home from the Far East with the Royal Navy. And Graham lost two pounds on a horse, and one would of thought he had just lost his life savings, never to enter a bookies again. Nip Eustace also had a very interesting history, as a ex bookies runner, which then was illegal, but was a very liked man in the area of Aldershot. Graham’s first wife Irene, who i always had a close bond with and to this day, who now lives in Australia with my Niece and two Nephews, use to chauffeur me to the bookies in Camberley when i visited them in Sandhurst, near the Military Academy. I can still hear Graham saying ” You do everything for Colin and have a job to do anything for me” yes with his cheeky grin bless him.

Once again i digress which is nothing new, so back to my view and knowledge of gambling if i can. Gamblers especially today, are being treated badly, comparing them to drug addicts and alcoholics and a lot worse, and having met many junkies and alcoholics through my life, gamblers don’t even come close. I can’t even remember one junkie or alcoholic, that i could honestly say was a friend or someone i could trust. All through my life i can remember thousands of good friends who i met through my gambling days, yes of course a few unpleasant ones to, ones who had a drink or two and i’m not talking tea and coffee. Having got that off my chest, i can now go back to my younger days, while i was learning the lessons of it. Back in the sixties yes my first real bet on the gee gees, ponies, horses call them what you like, was in nineteen sixty one, yes illegally before you ask. It was for two shillings which i remember losing. Then a year later when i started to go to work after leaving school at fifteen, i started to to learn how to play poker, the five and seven type, the real gambling games where bluffing became an art, if you wanted to win regularly, and is probably the hardest apprenticeship one could ever have… But where i met some wonderful characters, which they were back then, most had great nicknames like, Pete the Greek, Fred the Pole and even Tony the carpet, and many more unprintable in a family context. Yes my name was fearless and often crazy.

It was about this time i learned my second lesson, while playing three card brag one evening around my friend Dave Topper’s house, in Calvert Close the road below mine Friends Avenue. While playing Dave’s dad kept plying me with Vodka and limes, while i was way ahead in the profits stakes, don’t ask me how i got home, but my mates told me i had a good time Carol singing in mid Summer. And i woke up in a bad way and when i checked my pockets i was penniless, not even any small change to my name. And from that day i never drank a drop of alcohol while gambling of any kind. And never really drank to this day, apart from when i found myself at a few parties, if i needed my legs to move to the music. And this gave me a flashback about a party my wife persuaded me to go, one that was on her side of the family that i wasn’t keen to go to, thinking it might be a wee bit boring. Well after about a hour behaving myself as one does, and about four cups of tea i noticed one of my wife’s female cousins jiving (dancing) really good, and a beacon in my head said to me you need to dance with her, so off to the Whiskey bottle i went and chucked down two Whisky and Americans to loosen my legs a bit, and some Dutch courage. The only snag was the music was very loud and the only way i could talk to her and be heard was to get really close to her ears and with my mouth, and visa versa. But my wife was watching really closely where my head was going and how long i stayed there, and thought i was kissing or nibbling her ears as if i would. Remember she had been drinking a few Dubonnet and lemonades by then. And for twenty one years of further marriage my wife never let me forget it. another cross i had to bear.. Funny how women can remember certain things like that for a long time, and then forget within a day what dress they bought last, or sign the stub in the joint checkbook, which she owned saying tongue and cheek how much it cost or where she bought it. My wife’s shopping habits and my habit of getting close to women’s ears was a running joke throughout all of our marriage and since.

Once again i digress, back to my gambling. Having changed my job, and started working twelve hour shifts in a fibreglass company called Deglass Turner Newell in Camberley Surrey, which was in its infancy back then, it ran twenty four seven, fifty weeks a year. Where i also met and made lifelong friends, with many West Indians, who also loved a wee punt now and again, more now than again. Yes they also loved cricket which helped. Another one of its advantages was one got plenty days off the monthly rota, or in some cases far too many, depending on your luck at the time. We had eight days off at a time, once a month and a four day long weekend. where i could start playing cards Friday evening and not finish until Monday morning.

This has reminded me how i learned honesty pays, while playing seven card stud in a club called the Forty Seven Club in Camberley, opposite the London Road entrance to the Sandhurst Military College, in the sixties. I started Friday evening about nine, having started with just thirty pounds, which was quite a lot back then, seeing one could buy a very good suit with that from say Moss Bros. And having struggled through the night and all Saturday daytime and evening, i was on my lasy legs and resigned myself this was not going to be my day, and thinking time to go home. Then i was dealt three Queens with four of us left in the hand, and before i could throw my last seven shillings and sixpence in chips to call all in, Wayne the house player showed his hand of four jacks, and i said i would of called and threw my chips in the pot. He then said to me ‘ for being honest and straight Col ‘ he then threw me back double my money, fifteen shillings. I couldn’t just get up and walk away so i played on, expecting to lose it back quite quickly, but my luck just changed and i couldn’t go wrong, and by Monday morning i packed up with two hundred and thirty pounds a few months wages. Something i will never forget until i die. Honesty can and should pay.

Then for the next thirty five years or more and a Gold watch, i enjoyed the daily challenges of inventing, designing, manufacturing and even fitting my work, in fact anything that was put in front of me, and mixing that with my gambling, which was the reason i could leave the casino at four in the morning, after a poker tournament then drive straight to work for six. I also took the responsibility for twenty years as a senior supervisor, something i didn’t really want, not being a yes man. I only took the job when i was guaranteed to be allowed to do it my way, sack me or leave it to me. This was when i was nicknamed Trotsky by a few fellow workers an the managing director Chalkie White, yes we managed to stay friends over all those years and after, but sadly not with us anymore. I was also blessed with a brilliant right hand man Pete Harris for twenty five years, sadly also not with us anymore, someone who could make anything with his hands or repair or rebuild anything. But sadly did not like all the responsibility that came with being in charge. So because i could rely on him doing anything i asked of him, work wise one hundred percent, i made sure i took all the flak and responsibility from him, which made us a great team. And i can’t remember one thing as a team we failed at.

So one could say i was very responsible in the seventies, then came the interesting eighties, politically which i was and am, Thatcher and the miners strike and the misery it caused, and one reason why my nickname Trotsky stuck. And the opening up of more casinos, and my romance with Roulette and the new American version of poker, Texas hold em, Omaha etc. Which i enjoyed the tournament part of it, and being blessed with the knowledge of figures etc. It was then i first started to write a book about Roulette, which this is the shorter version for a few reasons, one being losing a lot of the mathematical hard work, i had built up over years. And another and the main reason i put it in cold storage for a long time, was because a life time gambling friend Ken Cutler who i spent many days and nights sitting and talking, and even testing ways how to bet and enjoy playing Roulette, passed away with lung cancer, something i have seen a lot with other friends and my own close family. Ken taught me a lot, and one of his main lessons was, to always go home with something, even if it’s only the taxi fare home, and at worse the price of a phone call. Yes we still had Red telephone boxes back in Noah’s days.

The memories of Ken are numerous, two stand out ahead of the rest, that really encapsulates the person he was. The first was that he never wanted to spend money on himself, but would do anything for others, yes even strangers. To that extent when we both went to the Victoria casino in the Edgware road London, just above Marble Arch, the days when they had Bunny girls as waitresses. Who would serve, don’t get all exited, your drinks sandwiches and even cigarettes. One just gave the ladies a monetary tip if you just wanted a cuppa or sandwiches and cigarettes, oh how times have changed, but i still tip all waitresses to this day, old habits die hard. As we were going to sign in, a large doorman the type one would not like to upset, noticed that Ken was still wearing trainers that he was wearing while doing the garden in the afternoon, in those days dress code was very important, Tie, smart jacket or suit were casino rules. Now today in most casinos anything goes, sadly to me it’s a step back not forward. Luckily we were in central London, we could go shoe shopping late in the evenings. And about four shops up from the Vic as most people called it, he managed to buy a pair of ugly Green slipons, or to be polite not my taste of footwear. The good part of it all was we both won well, which gave Ken licence to wear those slipons till they fell apart. He called them lucky as most people know gamblers are very superstitious.

And the second one , which made Ken the best loser i have ever seen, or met to this day, followed shortly by his brother David. Over a three week period playing a grand ( thousand pounds for the uninitiated) sit down poker cash games, once again at the Vic, but years after the Bunny girls hung up their tails, he managed to win thirty eight grand. And every winning day, he would have a cash cheque rather than cash, cheques ranging from three grand up to eight grand. Then one Saturday lunch time when i popped round after working overtime, over a cup of tea he showed me the seven cheques, and asked if i wanted to go with him that afternoon, i said maybe next week, work has been hectic and i won’t have the right head on to gamble, especially playing cards, and will only get bored because most good players keep their cards to their chests, so one could only guess what they are playing with. And as i was leaving, i said to him ‘just take one of the three grand cheques Ken, if you can’t win with that you ain’t going to win, there’s always tomorrow’. Then he replied, an di can hear him now saying ” Col you’re so right, i will do that” i said with a smile ‘ make sure you do’, remembering gamblers can be a law unto themselves sometimes. ‘ I will pop round tomorrow and be lucky’. I always keep my word and about lunchtime Sunday, i drove round his place and parked up, and i could see Ken digging his garden with a vengeance, and i mean vengeance, it’s a miracle the spade did not break in half. So i approached carefully knowing something was not right, and after saying our hello’s, i asked how did yesterday go, he replied “not good Col” so i tried to cheer him up a bit and said ‘ at least you only lost the smaller cheque, there’s always tonight or tomorrow’. He then said ” Worse than that, done the lot Col”, it stopped me in my tracks and found myself speechless, which is rare. Then he stuck the spade in the ground and said ” wanna cuppa Col i want to show you the hand i got involved with”, yes this was the Ken who could remember nearly every hand he has played, it’s a wonder he could ever sleep… Then telling me over two hours what happened and the great hand he got beat with and the huge size of the pot, we are talking over a sixty grand pot, he then said out of the blue ” i’m off to Reading (casino) tonight to play a cash game i’ve still got a few hundred”. You would of never thought he had just lost thirty eight grand about twelve hours ago. But that was Ken he would never dwell over anything especially losing money. Just like his brother David. the only difference between the two, was David would fuss about being owed ten pence one minute and in the next minute would lend you fifty quid. Ken would never worry who owed him anything, he would always say pay me when you can. These people to me are the salt of the earth not the many false people, one meets through life where money is their God and not just a tool. It’s not about winning at all cost it’s part of their souls and being, and the thrill of the game. They can play for fifty pence or hundreds of pounds, it’s all the same to them. I use to play both of them for fifty pence a go playing chess, you would think they were playing for fifty quid

The majority of my true gambling friends, that i have made over many decades, all had their own individual quirks. But one could not find better friends. Their honesty, loyalty and friendship, that can’t beat matched. And i have been blessed with many, and tried to return it all back. And i would like to put these few memories and some helpful tips down on paper in memory of Kenneth Cutler, and the originals to pass down to my children and grand children to do what they like with, and hopefully learn something from them, mainly that i was not a complete waster.

There are a few Golden rules that stayed with me, that i feel obligated to pass down to anyone who wants them, if it can help them. The main ones are for anyone who wants to play Roulette, while firstly remembering there is no such thing as a winning system. But there is a way to bet and play, and secondly you must want to enjoy it, and it is that only gamble what you can afford to lose. The third rule is to treat it as a social evening or day, by taking what you think is enough money to enjoy your time out. Maybe a meal or a drink or two, which i don’t recommend unless it’s tea or coffee, if that is possible, and how much you want to risk gambling on the tables, without ruining your whole time there. The fourth rule is never chase numbers, because they have not come up yet or for a while. These are called cold numbers for a reason, and even more important is to not double your stake after a loser, that’s a short cut to the workhouse, unless you enjoy washing up to pay for your dinner. But you can use that in reverse, double up after a winner, or at least increase your stake because it’s got a better chance because it’s a hot number, hot numbers are called that because they have at least repeated. And never forget to go back to your normal stake if then the hot number loses.

Because i liked working with numbers and figures generally since my school days, i studied numbers on the Roulette wheel for years. And you could find patterns of all kinds, which i still do to this day, which can be fun in itself, and at times i ignore my own theory and end up kicking myself, it’s called lack of self control, which any gambler or human being come to that, can be guilty of. The art is to minimise these times as much as you can, and try to enjoy it, and if you’re not enjoying it, it’s time to have a cuppa or go home, which could be the best advice. I have seen many last cuppa’s cost a wee fortune.

Most sensible gamblers always remember the famous saying, ‘There is always tomorrow’. Or you can do what i sometimes use to do, and that is follow a live table and write down the numbers to see if you can see any patterns. Live table means a table with a croupier, not these automatic ones or as they are called today fixed odd ones, which i will mention later.

Just look for the obvious ones first, say Red or Black, Odds and Evens and High and Lows, these bets are paid out as evens, in simple terms one wins one etc. Even though the real mathematical odds are not that, instead of evens 50/50 they are 51.35% to 48.65% to the houses advantage. Giving the house a edge of 2.7% when playing the one zero European tables, but the American tables have a extra double zero that gives the house a 5.26% edge. This is very important to remember, and why i refuse to play the American tables, unless as in the Mirage casino in Las Vegas where i stayed, some tables gave 36/1 odds and not 35/1 if you hit a number straight up. But they also had some European tables too. The Crap (dice) tables have very similar odds to Roulette, but slightly more complicated for beginners, and if you need any advice about Craps get in touch with Graham Hill, a mate i went to Vegas and California years ago, when a American lady friend of mine and I were getting ready to go for breakfast, Graham was just coming back to the casino after playing Craps all night, and over ten nights i think he must have become an expert at it, so he is the crap man.

Now in the UK i’ve noticed casino’s have introduced what they call the Reno double zero on some of their machines, and not being shy, yes i have had a few polite words in their managers ears, in casinos around my my area. And at every chance i let it be known to the customers using them, who don’t know the odds,and if they want to carry on playing them it’s their own choice, at least they can’t say they were not told. Casino’s and Bookmakers are full of these people and they love them. There is a image Casino’s and Bookmaker’s like to give, and that is they like to see winners, don’t ever believe that, if in doubt go have a chat to some regular winners who have either been banned or had their betting ability cut. Where’s the Government in situations like this, no where to be seen, this will mean something later in this piece.

As i mentioned a little earlier, this gives me a chance to explain what the media now call fixed odds machines, a upgrade of the old fruit machines or slots as they were once called, which are in casinos, bookmakers and slot machine dens. There has been a big debate in the media, and mainly in parliament. And this is where i have a problem with MPs in all parties who don’t really understand the problems with these betting machines, in fact personally they have made the problem worse for the so called people they think they are trying to protect, because of a handful who go to the extremes. As always with these so called knee jerk, no thought out reactions by politicians, who think there is a vote in it, or a bit of self glorification. What these politicians and governments don’t understand, and that is about odds. Any type of gamble is all about odds of some kind or another, good and bad ones. Which is my rule five, asking yourself if the bet is good value or bad value. And along with this rule, comes education. The same type of education, MPs and governments of all colours as long as i can remember refuse to use or allow, before their own political and personal agendas. It’s like watching a car mechanic doing a brain surgeons delicate work. In simple terms using a spanner in place of a scalpel.

Right now we have fixed odds machines, the fruit ones and Roulette ones. And since i have started this piece, the law has changed by those politicians, yes don’t laugh i started this in the nineteen eighties. The laws that have not changed are the ones that allows the casinos more freedom than he fruit machine dens and the bookmakers in the high streets of most towns. These bookmakers are still allowed four machines per shop, but no law about how many shops in one town. Which always mystified me with what these mps have been up to, and the changes they have now done. These shops are now open from eight in the morning, nine on Sundays until ten at night, seven days a week except Christmas day. Because they made huge profits, that allows these shops to pay all of their overheads, without worrying about all the other sporting mediums, like horse and greyhound racing etc.

The fixed odds machines that i know more about, the Roulette ones, which are in the bookmakers, are said to be able to allow a punter to bet one hundred pounds every twenty seconds, unless one just hits the repeat button. Which i would question, but if we are to believe the people who say that, it would mean a punter can lose eighteen thousand pounds a hour, a quarter of a million pounds a day roughly. These are the basics we are told by the same old people every time this subject is mentioned. Once again it’s not what they say, it’s what they refuse to say. And in this case it’s the machines that are programmed to pay out criminal percentages. I’m old enough to remember those fruit machines back in the sixties and seventies, when they were programmed to pay out close to seventy three percent, that meant for every hundred pounds staked or bet, one only gets seventy three pounds back over a certain time. And why back then i refused to play them. One does not need to be an Einstein or shouldn’t be, to work it out that if someone said to you, give me a hundred pounds, i will give you back seventy three pounds back, what your reply would be , politely i mean, yes go away please. What i can say honestly, even if those odds were a lot better in percentage terms, i would still not play them.

About two and a half years ago, while in a Paddy Power bookmakers in my home town, studying the horse racing that day, with the intent to have a wee bet, i had a two pound coin in odd change in my pocket, and put it in one of those Roulette fixed odd machines, and did a twenty pence stake on a ten chip type bet that i do in casinos, just for fun. And it won and i got back ten pounds forty, so as i do in the casino i doubled the same bet and laid out four pounds, which won again giving me twenty pounds eighty, so i doubled again and it won again, giving me another forty one pounds sixty, so doubled again this time being sixteen pounds and it lost… So being up over fifty five pounds eighty, i decided to stop and cash in, that paid for what i call a free bet on the horses that day and a extra thirty pounds in my pocket. So as one does i popped into the same bookies the next day. And put another two pound in the same machine, and did the same bet from 29 Black to 32 Red and quickly won just over twenty pounds and stopped and went shopping. This run continued for over two months with only one losing day and a couple of days i had to go to work, winning from twenty to thirty pounds a day and walking away. Then i went into the shop only to find the four machines where being changed to other new Roulette ones, so couldn’t have my two pound bet and went into town for a cuppa and a bacon sarnie, and a chat of course. I went back two hours later to find them finished, engineers gone. So i had my normal bet 29 Black to 32 Red and the numbers between including the zero, the ball went into 18 Red which is next to 29 Black, yes a loser, so curiosity made me try once more and another two quid, guess what it went into 15 Black, the number next to 32 Red. Then the beacon flashed in my head, this has been fixed and the other machine was faulty or had a hitch. So from that day i have not put another penny in those fixed odd machines. And why i only play live tables in the casinos, where i know it’s genuine random numbers, that could have patterns.

So what has our government now done, backed by a large part of the Labour party, a nagging point to me personally, which takes me back years, and the start of the nanny side of the Labour party, who nearly lost me then. This is another story in my life, and will there. They decided to change the law for the fixed odds machines, ignoring it’s percentages towards the house or in this case the shops and against the punter. And reducing the hundred pound limit on the punters stake down to two pounds a spin, which can only stop the punter ever winning anything, because they can’t even double up after a winner, so it’s just a matter of time before you lose your money. They should be more fairer to the possible punter and ban all the machines full stop. Otherwise they penalise every punter just to punish or stop a few gamblers who might end up as a compulsive addictive ones. What i find very strange is that governments treat drug junkies and alcoholics ten times better than gamblers who might have a problem, and when most gamblers are not high as a kite.

The problem with this government and a lot of the nanny state mps in today’s parliament, is that they don’t even understand what a normal man or woman in the street feels or knows. They know unless you ban all gambling, which would just send it underground, compulsive gamblers will just find another way to lose their money. Going online for one and on websites that don’t pay their taxes in this country or anywhere come to that, or the easiest way, just go to another betting shop. As i’ve said before we are run by people with brains of rocking horses, who can’t even start to think this is sensible or even right.

As well as governments, the new leaders of the present bookmaking fraternity are as bad as each other. One could say run by sheer greed, and have become obese with profits and will continue until they kill the goose that laid the golden egg, or should i say eggs. Having watched over the last twenty years or more, how each mainstream bookmaker has chipped away at the odds bit by bit, reducing their liabilities slowly, hoping the average punter does not notice. And sadly our betting shops are full of punters who don’t.

A summary of why i wrote this the way i have. I started writing a book about Roulette in the 1980s, with help from a good friend Ken Cutler, who sadly passed away before we could finish and publish it. And i put it aside since then, and in the process of moving home a few times since the end of my marriage, i mislaid at least ten years of hard work and calculations etc, to ever give it justice. And because it was going to be a book, that was to help beginners and to help people to enjoy the experience of playing it, while not being a mug gambler and to find value. I thought i should pass this on, even it only helps a few people to enjoy themselves and hopefully win without risking to much hard earned money. And feel free to pass it around to anyone. I also did it for self therapy, and for my younger family to maybe understand where i came from when i’m gone, and what made me who i am and how my own mother was my biggest influence, along with with three of my siblings, my eldest sister Doreen, and my youngest brother and friend Graham and my kid sister Joy, who all kept my feet on the ground and were always there for me, and i would like to think i was there for them when they needed me the most. This along with some great and trusted friends…. Be Lucky…….. ……………….. …………………………………………….Colin H Baker